Civil Service Strollers F.C. - The Match Programme #16

A humble club, formed by Civil Servants for Civil Servants. Just another day in the wilderness of Scottish football.

‘We have a core here of about 20 to 30 people... they keep us going.’

…

12:30 on a Saturday. The Anchor Inn, Granton.

‘Cosy in here!’ states Aaron, removing his jacket and pointing to the crackling fireplace in the far end of the pub.

‘COSY?!’ comes a bevvied shout from the corner. ‘It’s FUCKIN ROASTIN’’.

‘Just cause you dinnae pay for yer fuckin’ heatin’ Gary!’ belts back the barmaid as she plants two fizzing pints of Tennents on the bar.

‘That’ll be £8.40 pal.’

Very decent for Edinburgh.

Aaron hands over a ten sheet to the barmaid, having been told moments ago that it was cash only.

Authentic, gritty and in its own way, extremely welcoming.

Aaron and I take our seats in a wee booth tucked in the corner. One of the regular old boys shuffles across to the jukebox and now Sweet Child O’ Mine blasts all around this fine Granton boozer.

What a day for some non-league action.

Civil Service Strollers were the club on our Tour-dar this time around - Edinburgh’s “fifth” club you could say. Hibs, Hearts, City and Spartans to name the ‘top 4’. After that, Civil Service are the highest ranked Edinburgh team in the pyramid - but all around competition lurks.

Edinburgh United and Edinburgh University. Edinburgh South, Hutchison-Vale and Leith Athletic, all clubs jostling for room in the capital.

With the prominent rise of Spartans, the recent promotion of Bonnyrigg Rose and the upward trend of basically every East Lothian team, it is a real good time for Edinburgh & Lothian football.

Today’s club was no different. Civil Service Strollers have been having a rare time recently, on the pitch at least. This season saw them pushing for a Lowland League playoff spot at one point, as did last season. Not bad for a club which is run by volunteers and has a bank balance that constitutes one of – if not THEE - lowest budgets in the Lowland League.

We rang up Club Secretary Keith Stewart as we gulped down our golden lagers. Keith sounded like he was fighting an army on the phone, dashing and darting around pre-match making sure everything was in order.

We didn’t know the extent of it yet, but that man really takes care of basically everything on match-day.

‘Aye, if yez get here about 2 then I can give ye about 5 minutes boys, okay?’

More than okay with us Keith. That also gave us a bit more time to savour the early afternoon atmosphere in The Anchor Inn. A couple of pints down and it was time for a deep dive into The Strollers and what we already knew about Muirhouse's favourite sons.

Formed in 1908 as Edinburgh Civil Service Football Club, the team was originally comprised of – you guessed it – local Civil Servants. Interestingly, it is a tradition that the club continues to honour, as the current Club President is in fact a Civil Servant.

Playing in Edinburgh’s Muirhouse district for most of their history, Strollers have often faced stiff competition for support. A difficult task when the better known Spartans are right on you doorstep. A team who’s stylish rise into League 2, impressive fan engagement, shiny facilities and solid recruitment has already attracted a sizeable following.

We knew today would be a different kind of Tour. How does a club like Strollers survive and generate interest in what is already a tightly crowded market? How does a club with a small budget and small core fan-base compete at the top end of the Lowland League?

On a personal note, a big reason to visit Christie Gillies Park was simple. Gary Jardine. Club manager and something of a lower league legend.

Jardine was the man who guided Edinburgh City to their first ever promotion into League Two a few years back. It was Jardine’s Edinburgh City that Aaron and I bonded over at the old Meadowbank, all those years ago when we first launched The Tour.

Years on, Jardine now finds himself at a city rival. Once again doing a superb job with the tools around him. For two seasons they have chased the playoffs and two seasons they have finished comfortably mid-table.

Today’s opponents? None other than the Tunnock tanned Albion Rovers.

The men from Coatbridge have had a dire season, stuck in bottom half limbo all year. Now totally out of playoff contention, we were intrigued to see what kind of numbers the Rovers would bring to Christie Gillies Park.

It would also be our first glimpse of Lowland League poster boy. Albion Rovers captain, Niyah Joseph. Would the glove-wearing striker notch again today? Or would big Ross Clarke send him to the dry cleaners?

With that thought in mind, we polished off the last drops of drink and headed out into the Edinburgh sunshine.

A quick bus ride away, Strollers ground is tucked away behind the ‘World of Football’ 5-a-side football complex. The very same place where we play in our 5s league on a Wednesday night.

Mikey Tucker issues come and get me plea to Gary Jardine.

Rounding the back of the complex you find yourself heading toward the 1908 Club. What we find is a cracking wee lounge area to soak up some pre-match atmosphere.

Vice-President of the club Tom sits behind the lounge bar, struggling away with the card machine and serving a mixture of Albion Rovers fans, Strollers boys and the occasional ground-hopper type.

One such type we spotted was the iconic warhorse himself, Mr. Norrie Work. A local councillor and lower league vlogger who has been plastered all across our timelines since we started our own journey. A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance Mr. Work!

Head across to YouTube for his matchday vlog if you are keen for more action. You might even spot our ugly mugs…

WHERE’S YOUR PIE NORRIE?

Christie Gillies Park often seems to attract types like us. Maybe it is the charm of a small, historical ground situated on the outskirts of north-west Edinburgh. Maybe it is the intrigue of an Edinburgh club fighting above their means. Maybe it is just because they have an interesting name.

We grabbed a couple of drinks (tins only of course) from VP/barman Tom and mentioned we were here to cover the game. Tom was extremely welcoming and interested in what we had to say, telling us he would get us Keith Stewart for a chat as soon as he had located him.

I did ask if Gary might be free post-match, that we would LOVE the chance to have a quick word with him… Tom seemed unsure if ‘the gaffer’ would have time.

We always pay our way whenever we visit these clubs, but Tom absolutely insisted that we take Complimentary tickets for the match today.

It is strange how the lower down the pyramid you go, the more generous clubs tend to be. Truly, for a team like Strollers who make the majority of their money on match-day this was an incredible gesture - we thank them for it.

Compare it with Dundee United, who told us ‘no pictures and no discounts.’ I know where I’d rather be today anyway!

Now out came Secretary Keith Stewart. Visibly rushed off his feet - all we kept hearing from some of the other staff were shouts like, ‘where’s Keith?’ or ‘you’ll have to get Keith for that!’ and ‘Keith can you tie my shoelaces please Keith?’

The man was clearly crucial to the game-day operation.

He sat at our table in the 1908 Lounge and reiterated that we had 5-10 minutes and he would have to shoot back off.

Unfazed we launched straight into it.

‘Obviously you have had a bit of a drop off in form recently, but for Strollers to be challenging at the right end of the table all season is very impressive given the competition.’

Keith told us that basically everyone here was voluntary. ‘We have a core base of about 20 to 30 guys. Season ticket holders, regulars, boys like Mr. Work here.’ he said pointing toward the familiar vlogger who was shuffling across to join the conversation.

‘Considering all of that then Keith, how have you managed to play at this level and compete at the playoff end of the table.’

‘It’s the manager. Simple as that.’ Came back Keith. ‘We are very fortunate to have been able to keep him, listen, Gary could have gone to so many other places but he chose to stay here. Working in Edinburgh and being valued the way he is… yeah, we’re very happy to have him.’

It reaffirmed just how much of a coup it was for a club like Strollers to have a man like Gary Jardine at the helm. Pure guesswork from myself here, but I do wonder if a tidy chunk of the budget goes to keeping Gary Jardine at Christie Gillies Park.

‘Of course, Gary clearly has a couple of boys he enjoys working with, do you think it’s purely because of him you have boys like Marc Laird and Conrad Balatoni?’

‘Well Conrad has actually left us now… I’m not sure how much of a miss he will be.’ Started Keith.

‘Well, the last time I saw him he did not look like… let’s say the fittest individual in the world.’

Keith said nothing but I felt the silence was enough.

‘With boys like Laird at the club though you know you can attract a decent level of player to come here and stay here.’

‘You hear a lot about some clubs at this level who are almost cautious of promotion due to the financial impact that it might have. Do you think you guys fall into that category?’

‘It costs us £12,000 just to maintain the pitch every season.’ Started Keith. ‘We spend a lot of time just trying to cover that cost. Imagine if you have to then travel to Stranraer or Elgin on top of that, like I said it’s a very small core of supporters here. You don’t even get any money for winning the Lowland League! But you get a £46,000 parachute payment for being relegated! The League wants to protect certain clubs…’

‘Do you think that the proximity of Spartans has hurt you guys a bit.’

‘Listen, I have a lot of admiration for what the guys at Spartans have done, we have a good relationship with them but they have suffocated us a bit, they were playing at our level just last year and now look at them. We definitely see a bit of a boost in numbers when Spartans are away.’’

It is true what Keith said, Spartans operation has been very well worked. Engagement, publicity, recruitment. They have even built a new stand recently at Ainslie Park. You just can’t help but feel there’s an element of “what if CSS had gotten there first?”

We carried on chatting away and got onto more broad football topics, who we support, other Tours we had been on. Before we knew it, we had been chatting away to the big man for about 25 minutes. The Newcastle v West Ham game rumbling on in the background as we got another round in.

If only Keith could have joined us for a swally.

Shortly however that was that and he was off to fix another metaphorical leaking pipe. Leaving us with our thoughts.

The conversation with Keith had been absolutely brilliant, extremely insightful.

For Aaron, who sells GPS tracking vests to clubs like Civil Service, it was apparent why he struggles to get sales at this level.

These clubs are concerned with how to cover the costs of the playing pitch. Let alone investing in technology. Yet, here they are, at the highest level of non-league football in Scotland. Why? Because of a solid playing squad and an excellent manager.

Even in the modern day with the abundance of statistics, analysis and technology. It is comforting to know that a top manager and a good squad is by far the most important thing for a club to be successful.

Right about now the lounge was really starting to fill up. The vast majority wearing the yellow and red of Albion Rovers, a relatively big club at this level. You can even check out the episode where we visited Albion’s Cliftonhill for the Monklands Derby*.

*cheeky plug

With that it was one last sip and out onto the Christie Gillies Park for a game of Lowland League football in the bright Springtime sun.

MATCH REPORT

FIRST HALF

The teams came from around the side of the clubhouse into the glorious Edinburgh sunshine. Around 30-40 Strollers fans gathered either behind the nearside goals or scattered in the small tin stand which runs alongside the pitch.

Much like in the 1908 Lounge from before, Albion Rovers fans had somewhat taken over. We estimated about 200 in attendance for today’s fixture. So impressive when you consider they essentially have nothing to play for at this point in the season.

The stage was set for non-league action.

Strollers started on the front foot. Good honest working man’s football. Meat and potatoes at their freshest and most delicious. Quick direct balls through the middle of the park and then out wide. Get the cross in and let frontman Harry Girdwood attack it.

The early stages saw a lot of end to end but few chances. Both teams were battling with the pitch as well as each other. the bumpiness of the Christie Gillies turf stopped the game from ever getting into a real flow. Despite this, Strollers skipper Marc Laird was doing his best to remain composed in the middle of the park and was tidy at keeping the ball moving forward.

Civil Service kept threatening from set-pieces as Albion struggled to compete with their physicality. It was from there that Strollers would get their breakthrough.

A high corner whipped in was then headed back across the face of goal. Wide man Ross Guthrie pounced quickest, side footing the ball hard into the back of the Albion net.

GOAL!

*duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh* STROLLERS!

Our patch of home fans truly loved that one. Getting one over on the former League One opposition.

Strollers saw out the half fairly comfortably. Albion were far too cute at times and could not trouble the solid CSS back-line. It is all fine and well trying to play out from the back until you can barely get out of your own half. Time and a place lads.

Albion skipper Niyah Joseph and the towering Bright Prince left the pitch having been totally pocketed by Shaw and Clarke.

PIE REPORT

Despite the fact that the pies were clearly a Walls or a Bells number they were absolutely terrific. Cooked to perfection and married up with a meaty, well mixed Bovril. See, you do not have to re-invent the wheel for a good bit of football scran!

Scotch pie, Bovril, £3.50 please.

The simple supermarket pie well and truly hit the spot after having to endure Tranent’s dogshit donner pie the weekend before.

Keep it simple! Just like Strollers style of play it was straightforward, effective and left me feeling like I might shit my pants in an hours-time.

Solid effort all round!

7/10

SECOND HALF

The second half started very much in the same fashion. Seriously physical battles all around the park. Albion’s much talked about Bright Prince was an absolutely dominant figure in the centre of the park. Towering and strong as an ox with a questionable touch (you know the type). It is easy to see how he could wreak havoc at this level.

I overheard an Albion fan chuckling about how apparently Bright Prince was shit-talking in a previous match and threatened his opposite number saying, ‘Watch out, I was a child soldier in the Congo.’

Scary stuff indeed.

What was even scarier was Albion’s inability to do anything of note. Strollers just wanted it more and out-muscled Albion for the whole game, despite the Wee Rovers height advantage.

The much talked about Niyah Joseph was basically anonymous all match. A match that was indeed hampered by a poor pitch, but Strollers 100% deserved the victory. A late flurry of Albion long balls was food and drink for big CB Ross Clarke who dominated at the back.

The full-time whistle sounded on a low-quality affair. One that Strollers deserved to win, for their smarter and more effective football. For their 30+ diehard supporters and of course for The Tour.

MOTM - Marc Laird

Tough to pick a real standout in what was a physical battle. Between Lairdy or Ross Clarke at the back but I give the nose to our old fave Marc Laird.

Composed in the middle, physical, brave and can flash a quality pass. The man recycled possession like Greta Thunberg and it is easy to see why Jardine has him as captain.

Welcome to the Hall of Fame Mr. Laird!

…

After the game we found ourselves back in the 1908 Lounge just blethering away to Norrie Work and to a smattering of Albion fans left behind.

‘You guys ‘ave got to come to Berwick next week. What a game that will be!’

Just as we were about to leave, the man of the hour came marching on through. The one and only Gary Jardine.

‘These guys here Gary they’re The Tour!’ Blurted Norrie. ‘They cover the lower leagues as well!’ Setting the stage perfectly.

‘Oh aye?’ Said Gary, turning to face us with that look we often get.

These guys know nothing about football.

‘Congratulations on a tough win.’ I started. ‘I think that Albion were just trying to be a bit too smart at the back and you took advantage of that.’

Suddenly smiling Jardine came back with, ‘exactly that son, exactly that.’ He then launched into some more analysis of the game but I was no longer listening.

The words ‘exactly that son,’ echoing through my brain forevermore.

Atmosphere – 50

Facilities – 45

Team - 54

FINAL RATING – 50/100

ALL ABOARD!